Football Transfer Betting guide: Odds & Tips for Summer 2020

As per usual, expect these things to change by the start of the new season, especially if a new forward is signed. As a guide, (?) means that the player is in the Manchester City squad but not in the game and (??) means that the player is a rumored signing for the Sky Blues.
TLDR: De Bruyne and maybe Foden if you are feeling spicy.
Goalkeepers:
Ederson (£6.0): Although the city stopper claimed his first golden glove for the club since Joe Hart, he still returned his lowest amount of FPL points last season. At 6.0, He is still a premium goalkeeper who will likely still face problems getting points unless a player like Koulibaly is signed. Key errors in games such as the Manchester United and Lyon illustrate that Ederson is not 100% trustworthy. However, a more direct approach from Guardiola can benefit Ederson in terms of potential assists.
Verdict: .5 too much, avoid for now but keep an eye out for him
Bravo (£4.5): Not sure why he is still in the game, he's going to be off in the summer
Verdict: Avoid
Steffen (£?): The U.S.A. international is set to return from his loan spell in the Bundesliga. Although he impressed throughout the season, Steffen will surely be #2 to Ederson in the pecking order throughout the season. He will likely be priced at around 4.5 as well but he will only have value if Ederson goes down with an injury
Verdict: Only viable if Ederson gets a long term injury
Defenders:
Walker (£6.0): Oh Kyle Walker. A great footballer in real life but provides questionable value regardless that he scored miles ahead of any other city defender. His spot in the starting 11 should be the most nailed on amongst outfield players next season. If City strengthens their defense, he will provide additional value with his clean sheets. A true lack of contribution in the final third hampers Walker's potential, but he will likely rank amongst the top-scoring defenders at City next season.
Verdict: Too expensive for his value due to his lack of end product. Avoid
Otamendi (£5.0): I bet most Manchester City fans already thought he left the club. Although he was the 2nd highest FPL scoring defender for City last year, expect him to put up a fat 0 points this season.
Verdict: Avoid!!!
Ake (£5.5) After Laporte's less than impressive game against Lyon in the Champions League, Ake has become a more intriguing prospect. That being said, the odds of him beating out the Frenchman to the starting left center-back position is unlikely, especially at the start of the new season. If Laporte happens to go down again with another injury, Ake would be a great player. It is also worth noting that Guardiola may deploy Ake at left-back and defensive midfielder throughout the season, but he will largely only serve a rotational purpose.
Verdict: Avoid for now
Mendy (£6.0): Perhaps one of the most overpriced players in the game. He recently lost his place in the starting 11 to an out of position Joao Cancelo. Mendy will likely only be a rotational left-back this season, splitting time with both Cancelo and Ake. Adding into account his injury risks and lack of consistency just makes this problem worse. Unless Mendy has a true breakout season, 6.0 is far too expensive for the leader of the Shark Team.
Verdict: Mostly likely avoid all season
Laporte (£6.0): The heart of our defense. Although he has a few bad games a season, he is by far the best defender at the club at this moment. An early injury ruled him out for several months and took away the possibility for a great season. This season, however, Laporte could prove to be an effective choice in the Man City backline. This is largely dependent on who will partner him come the start of the new season.
Verdict: Only for those with lots of faith in City's defending.
Fernandinho (£5.5): The ever-present Brazilian in the Manchester City lineup for the past few seasons may be taking a step back this season as additional competition complied with his aging limbs will likely deem Dinho fantasy irrelevant. The same price as Ake, I expect Dinho to play fewer minutes than his new teammate this season, although a greater proportion of them may be in midfield. For FPL, Dinho has never been a viable option. This season, I expect the trend to continue
Verdict: Only a lunatic would pick him.
Zinchenko (£5.5): Things do not look good for the Ukrainian rapper. Not only did he lose his spot to both Mendy and Cancelo, but additional competition in Ake (and in theory Angelino) will only help plummet Zinchenko's stock. As a traditional midfielder, Zinchenko may prove to have value if he gets loaned out to another team should they choose to play him further up the pitch. As for now, I wouldn't place my bets on Zinchenko to have value this season.
Verdict: Look out for a potential loan.
Cancelo (£5.5): Joao Cancelo. The right-back turned left-back that only recently has proven to be trusted by Pep Guardiola. Not trusted enough, however, to avoid extra competition with the signing of Ake. I expect Cancelo to start the season for Manchester City at left-back barring any new left-back signings, but I am skeptical of his ability to put up points for our fantasy teams.
Verdict: Risky and expensive differential
Garcia (£5.0): Before the news broke out that Garcia has desires to go back to Barcelona, I believed that the future looked bright for the young Spaniard. Garcia started in most of Manchester City's games following the resumption of the league and although he had to be babysat by Laporte in those games, he showed enough for me (and Pep) to rate him over Stones, Otamendi, and Dinho at that position. Should City fail to sign another center-back, they will likely refuse to sell him to Barcelona this transfer window. If so, he would have great potential at 5.0.
Verdict: Solid investment if City keep him + Don't buy Koulibaly/Other CB
Stones (£5.0): I won't go too in-depth on this one. Stones' City career is likely coming to an end unless they decide to sell Garcia and keep Stones as their 4th center back. Even so, he wouldn't produce much value. If Stones goes to another top half team in England, he could have some potential. A loan move to Arsenal could be best for both the Gunners and the Sky Blues.
Verdict: Only viable if he gets a move to another top half Prem side.
Angelino (£?): Quick special mention to Angelino, who will likely leave the club this summer.
Verdict: Avoid
Koulibaly (£??): Technically not a City player, but after City's disappointing loss to Lyon, he should surely be a Sky Blue this transfer window. If so, he could provide value along-side Laporte. At 6.0 Koulibaly would stabilize City's defense and probably play more minutes than Laporte next season. As a result, he would likely be one of City's highest-scoring defenders.
Verdict: Depends on transfer and price
Midfielders:
De Bruyne: (£11.5): The first name on my FPL team. De Bruyne scored the most points amongst all players last season and is still priced less than some of them. The Belgian midfielder has been wonderful in his time at the Etihad and his attacking returns should only continue to be magnificent next season. With more determination than ever, and possibly another striker to assist, De Bruyne should offer amazing value next season. If you can only find room for one City player, make it KDB.
Verdict: Immense value, easy pick.
Sterling (£11.5): Sterling, if he could stay consistent, would have been the highest-scoring play in FPL last year. After an amazing start to the season, Sterling lost his form. Now with Sane gone and only a young Ferran Torres in to replace him, Sterling has more responsibility on his shoulders than ever before. His recent form and insane miss against Lyon may raise some red flags about the Englishman, but he should still provide the 2nd move value amongst City midfielders next season.
Verdict: Less value for money than KDB, but keep an eye out for how he starts the season
Mahrez (£8.5): Another player who gets trapped in Pep Roulette. Mahrez played brilliantly last season but with the emergence of Phil Foden (who likes to play out wide) and the signing of Ferran Torres, Mahrez may see another significant cut into his minutes next season. Should he start the season strong, however, he may be able to nail down a spot in Guardiola's team for the first few game weeks.
Verdict: Risky differential
Bernardo (£7.5): After his breakout season in 2018/19, hopes were high for Bernardo Silva. This season, however, he failed to impress and was largely omitted from the starting 11 for the games following the resumption of the league, including crucial Champions League games. With his desire to stay at Manchester City made public, Bernardo can offer amazing value-for-money if he can hit the ground running next season. The absence of David Silva now opens up the possibility of Bernardo playing centrally more often, which can only benefit the Portuguese international.
Verdict: Great potential but Pep doesn't seem to trust him in big games
Rodrigo (£5.5): Defensive midfielders never really provide great value in FPL.
Verdict: Avoid
Foden (£6.5): The English wonderkid that took the Premier League by storm following the resumption of the league looks set to fight for his chance to play consistent minutes. His start in the crucial second leg against Real Madrid further proves that Pep has confidence in the young man. If he can nail down a spot, either centrally or out on the wings, Foden can easily be the best asset to own given his price. Ambitious managers looking for a differential may look Foden's way, but that largely depends on what happens between now and the start of the season.
Verdict: Could be the gem of the season, although he could also largely spend time on the bench.
Gundogan (£5.5): See Rodrigo
Doyle (£4.5): Tommy Doyle is an exciting young prospect but he is a few seasons away from a real impact on the first team.
Verdict: Avoid
Torres (£7.0): Although he has been priced relatively cheaply for a City winger, I would urge caution with it comes to the Spaniard. Guardiola will most likely use the same approach he did when bringing Sane to the squad in that he will only really fully integrate the player after the end of the 2020/2021 season. If there was no redraft every year, Torres would be a good pick, but for this upcoming season, he shouldn't have much value.
Verdict: Wait for 2021/22 season
Braaf (£?): Braaf may be implemented into the game later this season, but he will likely fail to have any value once he is in. Along with Torres and Doyle, Braaf is one to watch out for a few seasons down the line.
Verdict: Wait a few seasons
Forwards:
Jesus (£9.5): A whole million cheaper than Aguero, Jesus offers a potential entryway into the City attack. However, I believe that there are better options given his price tag and his rotational with Aguero (or another striker) will likely hinder any breakout season for the Brazilian. If Jesus can improve on his end product, he will have value. As for now, however, it seems too risky to pick him given all the transfer rumors surrounding a new city striker.
Verdict: Keep an eye on him, but avoid for now.
Aguero (£10.5): Every year, Aguero scores an absurd number of goals given his fitness problems and rotation with Jesus. That being said, Aguero may face additional competition if City sign another forward. With 12 months left on the Argentine's contract, this may be the last season we have the forward in the game. In my opinion, his pricing makes him a huge risk this season, although I'm sure he would love to prove me wrong!
Verdict: Club favorite, but may not be an elite FPL option anymore for that price.
Messi (£??): Just kidding. Unless...
Thanks for taking the time to look at my guide, I will be updating it over time throughout pre-season. I would greatly appreciate it if you could either upvote or leave a comment with some feedback as this is my first ever preseason guide. If you disagree with any of my comments, send me a message as I would love another viewpoint on this.

Part 1: Our Move
Part 2: Shells and Shellfish
Part 3: Gray Water
Part 4: Horns in the Storm
There was an unspoken agreement in the house to not talk about the things in the well again. After it was all said and done we had our little family meeting. It was more like a frantic series of us talking over one another while we fought back the urge to get violently ill all over the place. After that attempt at a cathartic vent session the events of the day along with whatever I saw or heard were tucked away in the back of my memory, hidden from the light of day.
The Sycamore’s began dropping by a little more frequently. I found it incredibly annoying and rather rude to just “pop in” to “see how their neighbors across the water were holding up.” Elliot and Gary consistently passed it off as a kindness by older folks as well as a relic of generations passed. Still, I knew they had a working phone and could give us a heads up at any time and they just chose not to.
I had also made good friends with a younger couple named Sarah and Helga, Hel for short. They lived on the outskirts of town, but ran a little fishing and tour boat out of the launch. The kind of operation where local families would take their kids for a tour of the marsh and coast out further than they were allowed to swim or the occasional tourist who opted for the “authentic small town vibe” instead of their city and pay to get taken out for a quick photo op. Sarah and Hel quickly became pretty good friends and offered me a ride to the island whenever I got home so one of the boys didn’t have to come back and get me.
One afternoon as Sarah and Hel dropped me off I heard loud music coming from the back of the house. The only way I could describe it was as if a free form jazz ensemble was given folk instruments and told to go nuts while recorded through a pile of rags for graininess. With a little more searching of the land I found Elliot and Gary already top-ten drunk with Mr. Sycamore on the back porch. I asked Sarah and Hel if they wanted to come in for a bit. Since it was late enough in the afternoon and they had no tours on the books they decided to call it a day and join me.
Gary was dancing around in an attempt to mix peacocking at whatever euro-trash clubs he visited while deployed and a blind moonshiner’s jig. Mr. Sycamore sat in one of the chairs wildly stomping his foot nowhere in time with the music. If it had a tempo that was. Elliot was in the corner doing some peculiar display of unrehearsed performance art while starting a new painting.
“Hey, guys,” I called out as I stepped onto the porch.
Mr. Sycamore turned down the music and gave me a gentle nod. Elliot stared at his canvas, still gyrating to the silence, and splashing paint in a weird daze. That was, until Gary stumbled over to give me a great big welcome with a hug and kiss on the cheek. That pulled Elliot out of his trance. He crossed the porch in lightning speed and hip-checked Gary out of the way to grab me about the waist, lift me off my feet, and plant a deep kiss on my lips with a twirl.
“Well, hello to you too,” I said as he finally put me back down where I started. I mean, I blushed, but I still feel weird admitting that. Like I’m being too girly or something.
He didn’t say a word. He just placed a more gentle kiss on my forehead and whipped about on his heels to return to his painting. I may be making things up, but a small part of me is certain that he gave a quick, almost territorial, glare to Gary as he went.
I introduced Sarah and Hel to everyone. Gary immediately went into overactive flirtatious mode. Watching him deflate when they explained he was barking up the wrong tree before they lay a kiss on one another was both equal parts heartbreaking and hilarious. Seeing the look of disgust flash across Mr. Sycamore’s face was infuriating.
Switching gears from flirtatious to humble host, Gary ran to grab the three of us a drink. I kicked off my shoes and fell into one of the chairs with the first sip of the concoction the boys had put together. I never thought about making a mojito with scotch instead of rum, but it worked all the same.
Immediately, Mr. Sycamore called out to the three of us who lived there. “I got a serious question for y’all. Now, forgive me if I’m bein’ too forward. I don’t mean to pry or nothin’. But, I saw some smoke coming from this way not too long ago. Just doing some cleanin’ up I assume. Not getting into any business that ought be best left to someone a bit more experienced I hope.”
How fucking dare he question us like this. This isn’t his house. This isn’t his land. We aren’t his children. This isn’t his problem. This isn’t any of his damn business.
I guess Gary could see the rage boiling under the surface of my face as he swiftly took the reins on this one. “We just needed to get rid of some old wood planks Elliot replaced around here,” he explained. “She was more than a little pissed at us for not properly recycling and everything, but we were lazy assholes who didn’t want to do multiple runs back and forth to shore to get rid of them.” Admittedly, that little detail about me getting mad was a stroke of genius. Mr. Sycamore seemed to believe it.
Sarah and Hel seemed more than a little confused about the whole exchange. Luckily, as far as I could guess, living life in a southern town and running a boat back and forth off the coast gave them a real keep your head down and don’t make any waves type of mentality. No pun intended.
As the calendar turned a few more pages leading us into fall we got used to how things worked on the island. The crustacean situations still appeared from time to time. We started to keep a log and found that the crabs gave up after an average of fourteen hours, but the shells stayed for at least three days before disappearing without notice.
A couple of times I checked out a series of field cameras used for extended recording of wildlife even through the elements. These ones took a quick snapshot every five seconds and recorded thirty seconds of video when the motion sensors were tripped. Between the random large wave peeking into view coupled with the gulls and crabs we had plenty of video to go through. Occasionally we would catch sight of something cresting out of the water, gray and smooth, followed by a wide, splashing tail. But, dolphins weren’t uncommon in this area, so nothing major to report there. The only confusing part was that the shells never moved while the cameras were on. When we found the beach clear we would match time stamps and the shell designs would be gone within an hour of the camera powering off or getting blinded by a lens flare once passed the initial three day mark.
The air got cold quickly. All the salt and humidity protected us from frost build up, especially on the island, but that first morning walking outside for a cup of coffee and expecting it to be in the seventies to find it was a good thirty degrees cooler was something you never get used to. That drastic and sudden drop is again, quite common in the area, but still catches you off guard. The warm air blowing up from further south on the Atlantic trade winds fights the cold water as long as it can, but once it breaks it breaks hard.
Elliot finished the exterior of the lighthouse just in time for the cold to settle in. I hate that he had to work in the blazing sun and swelter of the southern summer, but being shielded from the bitter and chilling winds of the fall was good too. Six of one and half a dozen of the other I guess.
Standing at one-hundred-twenty-four feet tall (thirty-seven-point-eight meters for metric users, which the U.S. should be by now) it was truly beautiful. An emerald green and blinding white spiral wrapped all the way from the brick base to the steel gallery. The railing of the gallery and the cupola, which I learned is what the top is called, was a heavy black. New glass glistened across the lantern panes.
Locals were starting to take notice of the lighthouse’s rebirth. So much so that the city reached out to Elliot and offered him a bonus if he were to focus on getting the inner workings of the top functional within the month. They wanted to make a big display of having it up and running for some annual fai block party thing they do. I have to admit, the idea of having the lighthouse kick on for the first time in decades as the start to a firework show over the water was breathtaking.
Sarah and Hel gave me a heads up that they were taking off for a few weeks to drive around, visit some family, and take a bit of a late vacation. I established a strict schedule with Elliot and Gary to make sure that someone was back at the launch to pick me up after work. Everything had been running smoothly for a bit.
Late in the afternoon on an especially cold fall day I got tied up at work longer than usual. My supervisor thought it would be great to wait until lunch to let me know that the city council was having a meeting with some state and federal representatives to discuss the budget. I had to put together a packet arguing the importance of my role and studies to maintain funding for our department. My answers were short and sweet, but the sixty-eight pages I had to fill out about it was soul crushing. That is the power and efficiency of the bureaucratic process at work for you.
I tried calling Elliot and Gary on the landline to let them know I was running behind schedule, but no one answered. This was strange, but nothing to be alarmed over. Elliot could just be up in the lighthouse working and Gary could be running some errands around town. There were a million possible explanations. That was until I heard the thunder rattle the windows of the lab.
Lost in page after page of mandated paperwork I failed to notice the storm creeping in from the coast. The skies were almost pure black with the moon and stars lost somewhere beyond. Then came the rain. Sheets and sheets so tightly packed that they slapped at the glass like a solid hand. A smack across the face from Mother Nature herself. The world outside sparked in a blinding white for the blink of an eye. It was enough to cause an instant headache if only from how tightly my pupils tried to snap shut. Finally came the next roar of thunder.
Maybe the storm hit the island first and they were just busy boarding up, laying out bags of sand in case of flooding, and all the other preparatory measures we had laid out. That’s it, they were just hard at work making sure everything was safe and sound. At least that’s what the optimistic voice in my head told me. The other voice whispered threats that they were already losing their last bubble of air while drifting further and further under the water. Separated, each was trapped beneath a piece of wood or brick as the water slowly rose up to swallow them whole. Gary was struggling to pull Elliot free from a broken post that had speared through his shoulder and stapled him to the dirt.
For the million possible good explanations there must have been a million and one horrible things my imagination concocted. I wasn’t much for imagination these days, unless it involved making up terrible scenarios.
I wrapped up my paperwork, dropped it on the “reports in” pile on my supervisor’s desk, and made a mad dash to my car through the storm. Most of the town was fine, but the closer that I got to the boat launch the more and more flooded the streets were. A part of me thought it was the safer option to just get a room and keep trying to get ahold of Gary and Elliot. But I knew that I needed to get home and check on them myself. If I were to lay money on the table, the smart bet would be that the most likely case was that they were sitting in Gary’s car at the launch just waiting for me to arrive with rooms already booked and that the storm was just blocking all cell service.
The water was already halfway up my tires when I pulled into the parking lot at the boat launch. Tossing my shoes in the passenger seat I rolled my pantlegs up over my calves and ran into the storm. I still kept my umbrella out and overhead, but it did virtually nothing to keep me dry. I saw Gary’s car and ran over to find it locked and empty. I would have lost that bet quickly. Gary and Elliot were not here waiting for me. The most recent crash of thunder died down, but a swirl of echoes chased after it from all directions.
There are cliffs along the coast about forty-five miles south, but those shouldn’t be creating an overlap all the way up here.
Once out on the dock running along the launch I looked out to the island. Lights beamed from the house on the island telling me two things: 1. Elliot and Gary were still there and 2. None of the windows had been boarded up or covered.
“What in the God’s good, green Earth are you doing out there?” I heard a familiar and still grossly annoying voice call from somewhere behind me and away from the lot.
“Get yer ass inside somewhere safe right quick like!” Mr. Sycamore yelled before I could respond.
By the time I turned around the old man was already rushing at me down the dock. His thick raincoat and hat flapped and glistened in the stormy winds. “Mr. Sycamore, have you seen either Elliot or Gary come through here yet?”
“What you mean have I seen ‘um?”
“I can’t seem to find them or get a hold of them at all. Have you seen them come through?”
“Not at all. Figured I just missed the lot of ya come through when I was shutterin’ up the old home. I told y’all as soon as you hear them sirens to get yer asses to the mainland and safe!”
So those weren’t echoes of the thunder, but the high-pitched foghorn like noises that we were warned about when we first moved to the island.
“I just got back from work. I need to find them.”
“Go get yer’self somewhere safe. My lady’s inside prepping up some supper. Help yer’self while I go get those two numbskulls back here.”
“I’m going with you!” I shouted.
“Like Hell you are. I’ll take care of this and get them back.”
“Listen, I’m going with you. I won’t say it again.”
Admittedly, I mostly wanted to go and check on my fiancé and friend, but a small part of it was to show this leathery, sunbaked fossil that women were not to be locked away prepping up some supper when things got dangerous.
Mr. Sycamore continued to object as I jumped into his beaten aluminum john boat. Eventually, I wore him down and with a groan he agreed to let me tag along. I hardly consider going to my own home to check on my own loved ones letting me tag along, but that is an argument for another time.
The water was the harshest and choppiest I had ever experienced it. We weren’t reaching the threat of sinking or capsizing yet, but the hard slaps against the sides and heavy rains had us taking on water fast. On more than a few occasions we took the waves like ramps and got caught in gusts of wind. The bow would hang high for a moment as we rocked from side to side from the force of the violent storm. Each time we would eventually stabilize, but each time it took longer and longer to do so.
The usually quick ride from the launch to the island took us nearly half an hour; it still felt much longer than that. The constant threat of a watery grave has a way of warping your perception of time. All of Einstein’s theory of relativity and what not.
The closer we got to the island, the louder and stronger the horns got. Now I could hear them as clear as day even through the rain, waves, and thunder. They were just like Mr. Sycamore had described, for the most part. The high-pitched foghorn was accurate, but that wasn’t the full story. There was a deep and short howl just before each one. I guess that could be the foghorn kicking on or the bulb filling with air. I’m not exactly sure how foghorns work. At the end they trailed off rather than cutting abruptly. There were also no sharp changes. Another corner of my general ignorance is mechanical engineering, but I’ve worked with enough machines to recognize that they have sharp and metallic tones. I’ve also worked with animals enough to know they have more of a gentle ebb and flow and rounded quality. These were the latter.
These because there wasn’t a single horn blaring. From what I could count there were at least six of them going at any given moment.
Mr. Sycamore drove the boat up to the small dock and I jumped off before he even finished tying it off. Sloshing through the mud and puddles I made my way to the front door with the old man hobbling after me and shouting. In the cacophony of other noises I couldn’t make out a word he was saying.
As I took the top step to the porch I realized that there were no lights coming from inside the house and a fair amount of the windows were already cracked or completely shattered. I tugged on the door, but it was locked. Fighting and fighting, as hard as I tried I could not get the damn thing open. Mr. Sycamore finally caught up with me as I stood there struggling with the door.
“Get the damned thing open already,” he yelled.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Use yer fucking key.”
“Don’t got one.”
“What?”
“I don’t have a fucking key!”
The old man groaned and stepped through one of the smashed out windows. Once inside, he made his way over to the door and unlocked it for me. I lunged through the door and out of the thick of the storm. It was still windy, wet, and loud, but nowhere near as bad as it was outside.
“Now, where the Hell are them boys?”
“I don’t know!”
“Stick with me, right. We’ll find those little bastards soon.”
Before I could even make comment or note, Mr. Sycamore took off through the house calling for Elliot and Gary. I ran into the kitchen to see if I was just missing them somewhere. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking perfectly clearly. I barely registered that a glass sat on the counter filled with milky gray water. Before I could say anything one of the windows looking out the back shattered with a burst of heat rolling in. That’s when I realized that the lights I saw from the mainland were coming from the back porch.
I took off in a run, pulling Mr. Sycamore with me. Bursting through the door to the back porch I immediately fell back. The light was coming from a roaring fire on the porch. The roof, now engulfed in fire, was the only thing protecting the flames from the storm.
Mr. Sycamore grabbed me under the arms and started pulling me away from the door when I caught a touch of shouting from outside. Wrestling out of his grip the old man struggled to hold me in place while he yelled for me to stop it and that this was for the best. I eventually wiggled out of his hold and sprinted out the backdoor again.
Making my way towards the steps I caught a glimpse of Elliot’s paintings strewn across the porch. The usual bright colors and cool tones drizzled with a joyous splay were coated in thick reds, blacks, and dark blues. Splatters and slashes fired across the canvas in violent bursts. These weren’t new paintings, but new coats of paint covering the old ones I loved.
The shouting grew louder and the horns continued to roar. I did not have time to analyze the paintings much and continued down the path towards the beach.
As soon as I crossed through the dunes I found where Gary and Elliot were this whole time. The two of them rolled in the wet sand, stripped completely naked, wailing on one another. Even through the storm I could see puffs of blood bursting from torn skin and busted lips. I screamed for them to stop. I screamed for their attention. They just continued fighting.
I felt Mr. Sycamore brush passed me from behind. Thinking he would be able to help, I ran down the beach to where Elliot and Gary were fighting. They wrestled atop a new image made from shells. I grabbed at Elliot and Gary, whichever I could get my hands on, but they kept sliding out of my grip. Looking back to see how far away Mr. Sycamore was I found him stripping off his clothes, never missing a step.
“What are you doing?” I called out to him. “Get over here and help me!”
Mr. Sycamore didn’t give me as much as a glance.
Rushing over to the old man, I grabbed his arm to pull him over to where the two were fighting. As I clutched around his wrists he jerked his arm and sent me stumbling back. Landing flat on my ass in the soaking wet grass I looked up to see the completely nude form of the old man glare down at me with his eyes; whites, iris, and pupils, clouded over the same milky gray as the water ran.
I couldn’t find the words to ask him what was happening or where he was going.
He just huffed, turned back towards the water, and walked out.
Jumping to my feet I called out for him to come back. I screamed for him to stop, to hear me and snap out of it. He didn’t notice or pay attention. I kept pleading and screaming as he walked further and further into the water. He was about chest deep when suddenly he was pulled under in a flash and gone.
As much as I wanted to fall to the ground and just give in to the circumstances and cry, I couldn’t do that. At least for the sake of Elliot and Gary. I turned back to where they were fighting. This time, I found them on their feet rushing towards the water. They still fought, pulling each other back. It was like they were racing to the shoreline and both were willing to win by any means necessary.
The only thing that I could think to do was throw myself in between them and their finish line. I got in front of them just before they reached the water’s edge. Bracing for impact as I wasn’t sure if I was going to be thrown aside, tackled, or what, but I knew I had to be ready. The entirety of my body tightened. I rolled into myself, lowered my center of gravity, clenched my fists, and covered my face. I was as ready as I was going to be.
Then nothing.
I stood there so long, wrapped into myself, that my body started to go numb from the chilling rain and harsh winds. Hesitantly, I moved my arms and opened my eyes.
Elliot and Gary were standing shoulder to shoulder just a couple of feet away from me. Their eyes were clouded over in that same milky gray and they just stood there staring. Not staring at me, but just passed me. Their attention was transfixed on something behind me. Something in the wake and the shallows.
Then I noticed that the horns had stopped.
Slowly, I turned around and was quickly met with what had them so transfixed.
Figures were raising from the water. Smooth, feminine forms of deep blues and greens and very different shapes and sizes. Some had long hair matted to their face while others had long and thin blades of flesh running along their head and face. The one thing they did have in common were long slits pulsing along both sides of their throats.
I joined Elliot and Gary in just staring at them. What were these creatures and what were they doing here?
Then slowly, one swam across the surface of the water stopping just short of the shore. Reaching out a hand towards the three of us it peered around. Seeing none of us move or react, it took a deep, quick inhale before opening its back. And there we had it, the source of the high-pitched foghorns. From this close I could see the rain reverberate around the sound that pushed my hair back even against the wind.
Elliot and Gary went into a frenzy, fighting to get into the water first again. I grabbed at them and pulled back as much as I could. Without me noticing, two of the things had swam to either side of me and ripped me away from the boys. Before I could take in a deep breath they pulled me into the waves and fully under the surface. I kicked and punched and wrestled as hard as I could, but these things were far too strong. As soon as I felt a slight bit of give in their grip I was met with the sudden sensation of dozens of needles simultaneously stabbing into my freezing flesh. I looked down at my arms, blood seeping from between their clutches, and saw the wide tails, smooth as silk, treading the water.
The next thing I knew, Elliot and Gary were entering the water slowly. All I could do was watch as Elliot and Gary’s legs passed by, those things grabbed at them, and then the two were pulled underwater as well. Another scream escaped me, blowing out what little air I had left. All I wanted in that moment was to look into Elliot’s eyes once more, but all that looked back were those cloudy, milky gray orbs in his face.
One of those things pulled Mr. Sycamore next to them.
A burst like something heavy falling into the water came from closer to shore. I turned my head to see one of them dragging two wooden cages behind them. Trails of that thick slime swirled in the water behind them as those globs pushed and pulsed against the sides. Approaching the boys, who floated there with a look of determined euphoria coating their faces, it opened the cages and spilled the balls out, leaving them to float in the water around us.
They bobbed in the current for a moment before starting to violently shake and pull. One by one the globs tore open and a small gray and blue streak burst from them. Once free, they would dart around the water until eventually finding their way over to the boys. Cuddling up to them I saw their forms slowly fade to slightly lighter tones. It was almost as if the last remaining bit of body heat is what they sought. Thirty or so of them gathered, pressed against the bare flesh of the boys just floating there.
Slowly, Elliot and Gary opened their mouths and the little things went into a frenzy. As quickly as they could they swam to their mouths and forced their way in. I could see their throats and stomachs swelling with each and every one that slithered inside of them. Once they were all in, their bodies fell limp and began to sink.
Things started flickering black like a light switch was being turned off and on inside my head. I caught stop motion glimpses of the creature dragging they boys’ bodies off and into the sea. The one that approached us on the shore swam over, cupped my face in its hands, and kissed my forehead.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up on the shore. Coughing so violently and expelling so much water from my lungs I thought I would surely pass out again. I heard loud horns coming from the distance and forced myself to my feet. Looking out to sea I saw nothing approaching. I came to realize that the horns were coming from the main land.
Walking through the house, or more likely stumbling, I saw the fire on the porch dying. Once in the living room I could make out the shape of rescue boats fighting the current and storm, trying desperately to make their way to the island. All I could do, as if in some form of autopilot, was move about the room surveying the damages. Anything to keep me from thinking about what I just witnessed and coming to terms with the fact that the love of my life surely wasn’t coming back.
A mixture of police, firefighters, and coast guards filed in and surrounded the house. Draping me in a blanket they lead me out to one of their boats. A soft meowing noise stole my attention and I found Sandy hiding under the porch. Quickly, I wrapped her up with me and continued to the boat.
Back in town I had to give my report of the events. A grief counselor eventually signed off that I was an unreliable narrator given the traumatic experience as an explanation for my odd story. The official ruling was that the fire started due to wind knocking over something unidentified. Elliot, Gary, and Mr. Sycamore were listed as missing persons presumed to have been lost by being thrown overboard while trying to flee the island. I knew that was complete bullshit, but had no evidence or authority to prove otherwise.
My lab agreed to transfer my contract to a different office focusing on freshwater ecosystems. This let me move away from the coast. My younger sister moved in with me claiming it was so she could get out of our hometown for a bit, but I knew it was because everyone was worried. I will admit, I don’t think I could have survived living on my own after that. Since that night I have been metaphorically beating my head off of the wall trying to make heads or tails of the whole thing, so her distraction helped. I’m also pretty close to Elliot’s family and still go by there for dinner occasionally, but it’s really hard to be around them for too long now.
My new job seems to be going well and the city’s money to try and make this all go away has really gone far out here in forest country. But it would never be enough to make me forget.
Though I have yet to learn what exactly happened on that little sliver of land off the coast, a few lessons have stuck with me. If the beach has been marked and there is a crustacean situation, just find a new place to swim. When the water comes out gray, clean it thoroughly, and if you don’t have the tools or know-how, find someone who does. Finally, if you hear what sounds like high-pitched foghorns coming from the sea, get away from the water as soon as humanly possible. I still can’t completely explain it, but it doesn’t need to make sense to me for me to that it’s dangerous.

The year is 2017. Top scientists have finally cracked the ability to stop ageing, and the world rejoices. The discovery prompts an immediate FIFA investigation into exactly what this means for world football from now on. How will the careers come and go when every team can just preserve their best stars? How will the next Messi break through? The Qatar FA suggest restricting it to only Qatari players, a motion that's only narrowly defeated. In unrelated news, a bunch of mysterious Qatari bank accounts are seized the day before the vote. Eventually, a compromise is decided upon between. Only those players who’ve proven themselves to be in it for the sport, and their team, can use it. The players who have stuck with their team through thick and thin, who’ve turned down bigger money offers to stay where they are. One-Club Men. However, should their loyalty ever waiver, and they choose to leave, those players will lose their right to an everlasting career, and have to face the advance years once again. Who will remain loyal the longest? Who will ride out the lowest of lows to stay at their lifelong club?
Unfortunately for those of you hoping I’ve found a secret miracle, that’s just the best nonsense I could come up with to frame this scenario. In less dramatic terms, using FM 2017, I'm going to select 50 one-club men from the top 5 leagues and de-age them to around 22. Every 5 years I'll de-age them down to 22 again, unless they abandon their loyalty. I'll also be adjusting everyone's contract to expire in 2020 to make it equal, and undoing international retirements where necessary. Nothing overly complicated, but I’m expecting this one to run a long long time if I’m going to have everyone leave, so I’m good with it not being too complicated.
^{Reddit side note! It's me again. Some may remember my experiments from ages ago. I'm back and writing again, but as you can probably tell, with a new name and website. If you want to see this post with much better formatting, all the images, and everyone's profile at the end, go here to read it in full: link You can stay here if you prefer though!}
So who actually qualifies for this? I've restricted it to players from the Top 5 leagues of England, Italy, Spain, Germany and France, and only included those that have been at their clubs the longest. As well as the genuine candidates like Messi and Totti, loaned out players like Lahm qualify, as do those like Iniesta who haven't left in FM 2017, and even those that have left in-game, but are known for their careers at one club. Buffon is a good example of the latter. I've included a link to an image with all 5 players here: link
With all this loyalty around, I wanted to mix it up a bit by adding in one final player. Someone completely opposite to everyone picked so far, the anti-one-club man, the journeyman of all journeymen. And after some research, I came up with the perfect candidate. Sebastián Abreu, a man who in his career has played at an impressive 29 different teams in 11 different countries, setting a Guinness world record along the way. Abreu will receive the same treatment as the loyal players, except it won’t stop when he moves team. I want him to move around more, spread his wings, see how many teams he can collect over an illustrious career.
That’s enough explaining for now. Should be pretty clear what’s going on, just a bunch of footballers never getting old. Time to get things rolling and see who eliminates themselves. Who can stick it out the longest, who will become THE one-club man?

2016/17

With our younger one club men unleashed on the world, many of them attract instant attention from new clubs. For a while it stays quiet and looks like the first transfer window may pass without incident. Only a few loans crop up... until Javi López because the first man to fall. With Espanyol not meeting his standards, he makes a £2.4M trip down the coast to join Valencia. He proves to be the only summer casualty by the time the window slams shut.
January brings the winter window, and the Premier League clubs start to sniff around, ready to throw bags of cash at unsuspecting players. It doesn’t take long before the next two players are reeled in by money and lose their eternal youth. First Marcel Schmelzer in a £20.5M move to Liverpool, followed by Bruno joining moneybags Man City. By the end of the window, Nacho also heads to the north of England, joining rivals Man United. I’m not sure if any of them have realised how damn cold it is up there. That window swiftly ends, settling the bottom 4 finishers in the competition.
Returning to the world of actual football results briefly, and there aren’t many shocks to be seen. Man City finish 6th, Everton get relegated and Borussia Mönchengladbach reach the Champions League Semi-Finals. A few players see their team relegated, as Werder Bremen, Caen and Freiburg go down, so there could be a few casualties once that disappointment has set in. But all in all, the footballing world has coped just fine.
Loyal Players Remaining: 46
Abreu Club Count: 23 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: None

2017/18

With everyone’s transfer budgets warmed up, it doesn’t take long for the action to get back underway. The previous season has barely finished before Chris Solly trades in his morals for a Premier League move to Norwich. Sergio Álvarez joins him in England, making the slightly odd move to Bournemouth before a big £52M move sees Koke trade loyalty for a big move to Man City. That’s the most surprising move so far, as I expected many of the players at top clubs to stick around. The final two transfers of the window take us to sunny Spain, where both Xabi Prieto and Mario become massive glory hunters, trading in their life long clubs for Atletico Madrid and Barcelona respectively. Javi López, having left Espanyol to join Valencia last year, immediately realises his mistake and rejoins Espanyol. It’s too little too late though, his status as a one-club man is already ruined.
The winter window comes and goes without even a hint of action, so things may already be starting to quieten down. Over in Brazil, Sebastián Abreu has his contract with Bangu come to an end after a good season but fails to attract any new suitors before the European season ends.
Around the world, things keep ticking on relatively normally. Watford take a surprising FA Cup win despite finishing rock bottom of the league, meaning they’ll have European nights alongside their Championship campaign. The loyalty of Seube, Höfler and Bargfrede is rewarded, as Caen, Bremen and Freiburg are immediately promoted back to the top tier. Las Palmas head in the opposite direction, which causes David García to hand in an immediate transfer request. The Spaniard could very well be the next player to go.
Loyal Players Remaining: 41
Abreu Club Count: 23 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Watford (FA Cup)

2018/19

My suggestion that things may be quietening down is immediately disproved by the biggest move so far. Bayern Munich legend Philipp Lahm makes a huge £82M transfer to Manchester City, throwing away all he’d built up at Bayern so far. But it doesn't end there, as 2 more huge transfers are finalised right after. First Claudio Marchisio drops Juventus, clearly not happy with them losing the title to AC Milan, and moves to Real Madrid. Then Daniele De Rossi trades in Roma for Barcelona. Whilst both have moved in real life, I didn’t expect either to fall so early in this, being icons at such huge clubs. A little later, David García makes his predicted move away from relegated Las Palmas, opting to stay in Spain with Osasuna. And then on the final day of the window, one last move. David Zurutuza decides the Premier League is more to his taste and joins Noble at West Ham. Javi López continues his tour of Spain, realising rejoining Espanyol doesn’t earn him back everlasting youth, and so heads to Sevilla instead. Currently, he’s moved around more than the specific journeyman player I chose to actually move around. Talking of, Abreu does find a new contract, heading back to Uruguay to join River Plate Montevideo.
The winter transfer window is again mostly quiet, with very little potential action. There are still some transfers though, as Robin Knoche becomes the 15th person out, heading to Borussia Dortmund. Then a legend moves on, as Iker Casillas decides that barely getting any game time behind Keylor Navas isn’t worth it, and so joins Monaco for a mere £11M. I guess you can't escape the real world after all.
The summer of 2018 means a World Cup, a tournament which regularly creates bizarre results in Football Manager. This year is no exception, as the likes of Italy, Belgium and Argentina fall in the group stages, before South Korea beat both Germany and France in the knockouts. The final between Brazil and Croatia proves 100% less heartbreaking than the real 2018 final for the Croatians, as they become champions of the world. In domestic football, Man United take all the English trophies on offer in a Quadruple, whilst Freiburg find themselves relegated yet again, as do Montpellier.
Loyal Players Remaining: 34
Abreu Club Count: 24 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Croatia (World Cup)

2019/20

Another season, another transfer window, another set of swirling rumours around our one-club men. Borussia Dortmund manage to steal away another of our competitors from a German rival, taking Timo Horn early in the window. Having been relegated yet again last season, Nicolas Höfler decides enough is enough and leaves Freiburg for Hertha Berlin. Over in Italy, and Chievo Legend Sergio Pellissier finally caves, leaving his relegation-threatened lifelong team for European battlers Fiorentina. But that's all the entertainment I can offer, no big signings this time around I’m afraid. Let's go see what Javi López is up to instead. His merry-go-round of clubs continues yet again, moving over to Deportivo de La Coruña in the latest of his ever-decreasing value of transfers.
January retains its typical bleak and dull atmosphere, with no sign of action whatsoever until the final day of the window. Hugo Mallo decides to try and add to his trophy cabinet and heads to Man United. Not the worst career move to throw away eternal life for considering their dominance right now. And with his departure, the total number of players that we've lost hits a nice round 20.
In the Premier League, Man United claim their 4th title in a row, exerting total dominance over everyone. But where one dominance rises, another falls, with Dortmund claiming the Bundesliga to knock Bayern off their perch. The shock of the season comes in the Coupe de France, where 3rd tier LB Châteauroux knock out Lyon, Auxerre and PSG before falling to Caen in the semi-finals. With Monaco having fallen to 4th tier SA Spinalien, Caen beat an easier opposition of RC Lens in the final, leading to Seube lifting the teams first-ever Coupe de France. Not bad for a player I expected to never lift a trophy. On a less joyous note, Höfler having left relegated Freiburg, sees his new team Hertha relegated immediately too. It seems there is no escaping the 2. Bundesliga!
On the record front, Gianluigi Buffon sets a huge benchmark, breaking the 200 cap mark for Italy. With no-one else close to him, he’ll stay the leader for a long time. Messi also breaks a boundary, climbing through 400 league goals during his career at Barcelona. Like Buffon, he’s way clear of any competitor, and unless a miracle happens that sees him abandon Barcelona, I can’t see anyone catching him soon.
Loyal Players Remaining: 30
Abreu Club Count: 24 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Caen (Coupe de France)

2020/21

2020 arrives, and with it, two important points arrive too. Firstly, everyone gets de-aged for the first time in this experiment. The 20 that have left get to watch from a distance thinking about what could have been. Second, the initial contracts are set to expire, so anyone that hasn’t re-signed will out the door. Which is exactly what happens to Víctor Valdés. Having barely appeared for Barcelona since his return, he leaves the club on a free and heads to the southern French coast to join Marseille. A day later and someone else leaves France, as Romain Danzé who decides one de-ageing is enough and moves to Schalke. Tony Hibbert also struggled for games at Everton despite his new youthful look, and so he walks out the door. He opts for Aston Villa, who to my great surprise have sunk to a mid-table League 1 team. Feeling left out, Spain joins in, with Oier Sanjurjo departing Osasuna and moving to Villarreal. The window is then capped by a bizarre final free transfer. Despite appearing regularly, Xavi isn’t offered a new contract by Barcelona. Man City can’t quite believe their luck and snap up the Spanish wizard a few days before the window shuts.
Winter brings with it just one transfer in its usual action-heavy way. Roberto Torres leaves Osasuna, making a £35.5M switch to Atletico. I’m not sure whether Atletico thought they were getting a different de-aged Torres because that can only be described as an overpayment. Either way, that means we've now lost over half the competitors.
Euro 2020 passes, and Croatia prove their World Cup victory was no fluke, becoming both champions of the World, and champions of Europe. On the Continental front, things have been fairly predictable so far, at least until this years Europa League. Hoffenheim escape a tough group and go all the way to win the entire thing. Not bad for a team that barely qualified in the first place. Oh, and Messi wins a little thing called the Ballon d’Or for the 10th time. I think he’s only just getting started.
Loyal Players Remaining: 24
Abreu Club Count: 24 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Hoffenheim (Europa League)

2021/22

The 21/22 season begins with two transfers on the first day. Loïc Perrin makes his way to the Premier League to join Leicester. But that's a minor splash compared to the other move, as after 768 appearances and 302 goals, Francesco Totti leaves Roma. It seems wrong to see it, but he’ll now be wearing a Man United kit. Dortmund continue their run of stealing loyalty, this time bringing Tony Jantschke into the fold. Another contract is run to the end, forcing Álex Bergantiños out of Deportivo without much choice, before being picked up by Cagliari. Mikel González opts to end his time at Real Sociedad, joining Pellissier over at Fiorentina. And as August comes to a close, it looks like Totti may be the only big departure. That is until Gianluigi Buffon decides to call time on his Juventus career. It’s an odd move, with the legend going sorta sideways from a regular starting Juventus spot to Bayern Munich. But there’s no going back now, as his 636 league appearance career with the Italians comes to a close. Two legends down in one window.
No season is complete without a single winter signing to warrant an entire separate paragraph, and this season is no different. Sergi Roberto moves away from Barcelona, in a £24M move to French giants PSG. A good way to guarantee yourself plenty of titles I guess. Abreu also makes a winter move, adding Guarani in the Brasilian second tier to his collection.
Roberto’s decision proves to be a good one, as PSG go on to claim their 10th one in a row. Not many surprises elsewhere, although Real Oviedo get close to pulling off a shock in the Copa del Rey. The second tier team beat Osasuna, Barcelona and Sevilla on the way to the final, but ultimately Real Madrid prove a step too far. Elsewhere everything is won by a team you’d probably expect. Exciting stuff.
Loyal Players Remaining: 17
Abreu Club Count: 25 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: None

2022/23

With the pool of players rapidly decreasing, very few of the crew are even wanted by other clubs anymore. Perhaps deterred by their steadfast loyalty? A few moves do still happen though, so we’re not dead yet. Firstly Anthony Lopes gets fed up of PSG dominating his league and moves to AC Milan for a better shot at a trophy. It’s not long before that story is forgotten, as the biggest transfer fee in the competition so far is dropped. Andrés Iniesta is stolen away from Barcelona, in a huge £86M move to Man United. The midfield maestro fell 2 appearances short of 600 league games for Barcelona, but with his new £300K per-week contract it’s not hard to guess why. That proves to be all the action for the summer window, with no-one willing to top that huge move.
After half a season of hearing their noisy neighbours gloating about their star signing, Man City snap. And if there’s one thing City are good at, it’s splashing the cash. In probably the easiest negotiation over fee Barcelona has ever had, Sergio Busquets makes a £95M move to the sky blues. Yeh, that’ll show United. Once again no-one wants to get in the middle of the awkward Manchester squabble, and the winter transfer closes with a whimper.
The second World Cup of this experiment comes and goes. This time all the giants make it safely through the Group Stages, but it’s Africa that really excels. Morocco make the knockouts, Egypt battle through to the Quarter Finals, but Nigeria come out best. They beat South Korea and Argentina before falling valiantly to France in the Semi-Finals. A 1-0 victory of Italy does see them finish in an impressive 3rd place, becoming the first African team to finish in the top 3 of the World Cup. France win the title on penalties after a deceivingly action-filled 0-0 draw with Spain. The domestic scene follows that with a similar lack of real shocks. In the Carabao Cup, Bournemouth beat Arsenal, Chelsea and Man United on the way to lifting the trophy. But it’s the lesser Cup, so outside of Bournemouth no-one really cares. PSG finally have their grip on the Ligue 1 broken, as Casillas leads Monaco to a fantastic title. Otherwise, all the league titles and cups fall to teams you’d expect them too. Another thrilling year.
Loyal Players Remaining: 14
Abreu Club Count: 25 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Bournemouth (Carabao Cup)

2023/24

Literally nothing happens. Thomas Kessler decides that no team can ignore his existence for 20 seasons in a row and get away with it, leaving Köln to join Trabzonspor. So as I said, literally nothing happens. Even Javi López moving to yet another club would be more interesting than that.
The same applies to the footballing season. Asides from Casillas captaining Monaco to a Champions League title, or Atletico winning the title again, exactly 10 years after their last win, everything is frustratingly normal. And even those two events are hardly shocks.
Before I start to lose hope, there are a few interesting moves over the last few years from the losing group that are worth highlighting. First season mover Bruno didn’t make the impact he hoped and found himself moving to the lovely Stoke. Robin Knoche barely received any playtime at Dortmund and found himself cast out to Dinamo Zagreb. Even in League 1, Tony Hibbert could barely get any game time at Villa and so moved on the Scunthorpe in League 2. But the winner of the oddest move has to be Zurutuza, who somehow manage to pull off a move to Liverpool after West Ham found themselves relegated, only make a few disappointing performances, before being released on a free to join Al-Arabi in Qatar. Not quite the career he was anticipating when joining the Premier League I bet.
Loyal Players Remaining: 13
Abreu Club Count: 25 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: None

2024/25

The summer transfer window arrives for another season, and with it finally comes a huge deal! Javi López has found yet another club! Hooray! As for actual competitors, absolutely no movement whatsoever. Even from Abreu, who’s been at Guarani for 2.5 years now. Manceau, Lewington and Seube complain to their managers about playing time or relegation, but none of them actually make a move anywhere. So our final 13 will add another 5 years onto their career length.
There are some fun statistics from our 51 worth mentioning at this point. Buffon leads the way with both total league appearances (935) and international caps (259). His caps are at a point where they’re too high for the game to display, as the value is stored as an unsigned 8-bit integer, and so has rolled over to just show 3. Most appearances for a single club goes to Dean Lewington however, who thanks to being a regular sits at 857 league appearances for the MK Dons (or 889 if you include Wimbledon). In the goals department, the winner is obvious. With almost 500 league goals, 100 international goals and 14 Ballon d’Or awards, Messi sits on top of everyone. On the international scene, he’s run close by Müller and the fast-approaching Kane, but for league goals, it’s not even close.
2024 brings with it a Euro tournament, which doesn’t provide much in the way of surprises, but brings with it some exciting high scoring matches. All ending in a 4-3 victory for a Thomas Müller led Germany over neighbours Netherlands. Which I’m sure went down very well. The domestic scene decides to spring a few shocks though. In Serie A, Roma claim an impressive title thanks to main striker Iheanacho, their first since 2001. The German and French cups provide surprise winners, in the form of Hertha Berlin and Dijon. Both cap an impressive run by beating their respective league winners, Bayern and Monaco. Even the continental tournaments turn up too. First Monaco cement their place as a top power in football by winning their second Champions League in a row. That coming a week after the best win there could possibly be. Tottenham win the Europa League! Screw the other stuff, that last part is all I need!
Loyal Players Remaining: 13
Abreu Club Count: 25 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Dijon (Coupe de France), Hertha Berlin (DFB Pokal)

At this point though it’s fair to say that the competition results are more interesting than the movements of the players. Which is the perfect signal that things need to speed up a little bit. So from now on, updates will be every 5 years, which lines up perfectly with player age resets, letting us see who has made it to the next checkpoint.

2025-2030

Another round of de-ageing hits, and you’d think that would incite some interest in our final 13. Instead, it’s a ghost town. We do have an immediate dropout though, as Nicolas Seube finally gets fed up with his lack of playtime at Caen and heads for Panionios in Greece. A year later the situation is repeated. I’m not entirely sure what his unhappiness was about, but Iker Muniain decides he’s had enough of Athletic Club and moves to Hamburger SV. At least he left on exactly 100 goals for Athletic though, a nice round number. With 11 left, a standoff to reach the top 10 ensues. For 3 years no-one budges in their show of loyalty, until in 2029… Dean Lewington leaves for Derby County on a free. It’s a huge move, with Lewington becoming the first man to break through 1000 league appearances for a single club before leaving. But he’s moved on now, and it won’t be long before that record is broken. That move means we’re left with our final 10 contestants. Terry, Iraola, Messi, Susaeta, Noble, Jourdren, Müller, Kane, Manceau and Bargfrede have secured a top 10 spot, and now all that’s left to do is fight it out for number 1.
Over in Brazil, our anti-one-club man continues his journey, although it remains in Brazil for the moment. Only 2 clubs are added to his count, with a long stay at Atletico Goianiense followed by a £2M move to top tier Coritiba. I’m kind of hoping he starts to make enough waves in the Brazilian league to move to Europe and add some new countries to his history.
Those that fell before the first de-ageing are retiring, finishing off their magnificent, or in some cases very un-magnificent, careers (as losers). Javi López finishes his fine anti-loyalty tour around Spain with 7 transfers to his name. Schmelzer, Nacho, Solly, Álvarez, Koke, Mario, Prieto, Marchisio, De Rossi, David García, Zurutuza, Knoche, Höfler, Pellissier, Mallo, Horn and Hibbert end their careers. Many, such as Nacho, Horn and De Rossi stay just as committed to their new clubs as they did their old, finishing out their careers after just a single transfer. Of the pensioners, Sergio Pellissier manages to rack up the most career league appearances and goals, at 894 and 246, although that’s largely thanks to a huge head start. De Rossi dominates on the international scene, earning a whopping 197 caps over his 30-year career. Naturally, all those records will be blown out the water once the next group start retiring, but it’s nice to have some benchmarks.
Around the world, plenty has gone on worth hearing about. The Netherlands claim their first-ever World Cup win, beating Brazil in the final, whilst in the Euro’s Germany win their second tournament in a row. The Gold Cup throws up a few interesting results too, as first, the Mexico B team win it, with their A team tied up in the Confederations Cup. Then 4 years later Canada take the title, only the second time in their history. Over in Italy, Lazio find themselves relegated as the league starts to shake itself up a bit. But other than that, domestic football remains relatively unspectacular. Oh except… TOTTENHAM WINNING THE LEAGUE. Didn’t even have to reset it and we won it before Arsenal did. North London is very much Lilywhite now, suck it Gooners!
Loyal Players Remaining: 10
Abreu Club Count: 27 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Tottenham (Premier League)

2030-2035

Another 5 years pass and to start with it looks like the top 10 are going to hold firm. Eventually though, the temptation of money proves too much for one man. That man is Geoffrey Jourdren who trades in his starting slot at Montpellier for a cosy backup contract at PSG. Then comes… dead silence. Not even a rumour, or an unhappy player. No-one even hints at leaving for the next 4 years, which means we end the period with nine players on the books. The real waiting game has begun. Even our journeyman Abreu is moving in a very slow way, as a five year Coritiba stint finishes with a free transfer to Red Bull Brasil. I think my hopes for a European move have died.
At least there are a lot of retirements to run through. Bruno, Lahm, Casillas, Valdés, Danzé, Oier, Xavi, Torres, Perrin, Jantschke, Bergantiños, González, Roberto, Iniesta and Busquets hang up their playing boots. That does leave us without some noted legends, with Lahm, Casillas, Iniesta and Busquets reaching 200 caps for their country. You’d think Spain would have won more with that golden generation. Casillas and Xavi also both hit 1000 league appearances thanks to a strong head start before the experiment. But it’s Andrés Iniesta who is the most loyal of the bunch, racking up nearly 600 appearances for his original club before departing.
Five years leaves plenty of time for interesting results once again. England take a World Cup win, which is always a sign of the apocalypse, only made more bizarre by Scotland making the semi-finals in the same competition. Portugal take the other title in that period, whilst the Euros also see a surprise winner in Switzerland. France provides the biggest shock at club level, as Lille come from nowhere to win Ligue 1, and then immediately revert back to mid-table once again. Otherwise, the time belongs to Manchester City. The oil bar… sky blues take 4 out of 5 titles in both the Premier League and Champions League, with all that cash flinging finally paying off.
Loyal Players Remaining: 9
Abreu Club Count: 28 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: England (World Cup), Lille (Ligue 1)

2035-40

With just nine players left, once again we get a transfer fairly early on in the period. Early as in the first transfer window, which makes me wonder why they waited so long. Anyway, Mark Noble has had his patience tested by West Ham’s yoyoing between the Premier League and Championship a bit too much and finally caves. He makes a £20M move to Burnley, who… are doing the exact same thing. Not sure that was the brightest idea. Like the previous 5 years though, one transfer is all we get. None of the others move, despite some pretty heavy unhappiness from Bargfrede and Manceau. Abreu keeps up his trail, running out his contract with Red Bull Brasil and opting for Chapecoense to reach 29 clubs in his career.
With very few moving recently, that also means less and less are retiring, as just 7 ex-competitors leave the game. Totti, Buffon, Lopes, Kessler, Seube, Muniain and Lewington call time on their football life. The fact they all stuck with it for so long means there’s so impressive stats between them. Totti racked up 1154 league appearances, with 768 at Roma. Dean Lewington, after leaving MK Dons with 1003 appearances finished with a total of 1287. Italian legend Gianluigi Buffon finished with a whopping 1307 league appearances, but perhaps more impressively, 334 international caps. But the single most surprising statistic goes to Thomas Kessler. Despite barely playing in Germany he manages to notch a grand total of 7 goals after his move to Turkey. Maybe if he’d been a striker he’d have actually played at Koln. Oh and Seube ends his career Greek. Because why not.
As per every time, a quick look around the world’s results is needed. Spain win back the World Cup titles, whilst Italy take a Euro win. Argentina, Mexico and Australia claim all their continents international trophies in the window, so no massive surprises there. The domestic world isn’t exactly littered with shocks either. Brescia win a Coppa Italia, and Nîmes Olympique grab 4 top 5 finishes in a row in France, but there’s not really much to shout about. I think it’s best to just get on with the next de-ageing.
Loyal Players Remaining: 8
Abreu Club Count: 29 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Brescia (Coppa Italia)

2040-45

Down to 8 now, so it’s getting tougher. And a lot slower, so slow in fact that not a single transfer in our group happens in five years. For a moment I was excited to see Manceau at Recreativo de Huelva, but that was just a loan. So I was back to being crushed. On the plus side, Abreu makes some huge steps. He adds not just 1, but 2 new countries to his history! The first is Portugal, in a huge step up to join Braga. As usual, it’s just until his contract ends, before he moves on to Frankfurt in the Bundesliga. He’s hardly setting Europe alight but I don’t care, he’s actually moving!
There’s only one retiree to talk about too, as pretty much everyone has already gone. Geoffrey Jourdren finishes up with 925 total league appearances. It probably could have been a bit more, if he’d not spent 10 years of his career being a backup at PSG and Bayern. On a far more interesting note, Terry breaks through 1500 career league appearances. Kane also hits 256 international goals, which results in the number resetting to 0 just like caps. So the game has him on 96 caps with 11 goals, when the actual numbers are a stunning 352 caps with 267 goals.
Having seen my disappointment last time around, the world decides to liven things up. Denmark become both Champions of the World and Champions of Europe in 2042 and 2040, although they lose the European title to Germany 4 years later. At the continental level, the Champions League stays on track, but the Europa League brings some bizarre winners into the mix. Nîmes Olympique, Real Sociedad, Leicester and Bristol City all win a trophy. It seems Mark Noble finally made a right move transferring to Bristol City, as the club is now a strong top 6 Premier League side. Manceau wins a Coupe de France at Angers, but it’s still Nîmes making waves, forming a big three with PSG and Monaco. It may not be long before either Nîmes or Bristol City win their league, which is not something I expected to be saying.
Loyal Players Remaining: 8
Abreu Club Count: 31 clubs in 12 countries
Odd Winners: Nîmes Olympique/Bristol City (Europa League), Angers (Coupe de France)

2045-50

2045 kicks off and once again Manceau deceives me. This time it’s a loan spell in Denmark with Brøndby that had me thinking he was gone. Well you know what they say, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice… I’m probably gonna fall for it. It looks like there’s going to be no moves whatsoever once again, until June 2047 arrives and I notice a contract is set to expire. Imagine my shock when Lionel Messi is not offered a contract by Barcelona and is let go. It’s made doubly worse by the fact that of all teams to pick him up, it's Atletico Madrid. Apparently, 37 Ballon d’Or awards aren’t good enough for Barcelona anymore. I don’t even care that nothing else happens. That’s enough to stun me.
Over in the retirement home, Mark Noble moves into a room. After an up and down career, the Englishman did manage some silverware with Bristol City and ended his career with 1317 league appearances. He even earned not just 1, but 90 England caps across his 44-year career.
Around the world, interesting results are still cropping up. England grab their third World Cup win beating Colombia, whilst Honduras win their first-ever Gold Cup. Much to my bitter disappointment, Arsenal win 4 of the 5 Champions Leagues on offer, as well as 3 Premier League titles. Chelsea have a period of bottom 10 finishes which deeply upsets Terry, whilst over in France, Chamois Niortais begin to try and join the top 3. Don’t worry I’ve never heard of them either.
Loyal Players Remaining: 7
Abreu Club Count: 32 clubs in 12 countries
Odd Winners: Honduras (Gold Cup)

2050-55

With the world still reeling at the fact the Messi has moved from Barcelona, everyone kinda forgets to make any moves. In fact, Messi is the first person to move yet again, leaving Atletico in a very cheap 34.5M move to Man City. Which is more in line with where I originally expected him to go. Abreu finishes one contract, at Hapoel Be’er Sheva, and moves onto the next, but it’s with Monterrey so doesn’t count. Sebastian, it has to be new clubs. John Terry is starting to get frustrated with a Chelsea team that has really fallen from grace. The Londoners barely survive relegation in 2052/53, so Terry may be the next to go. Or maybe I know nothing and it’s completely random.
No-one retires this year, so let’s take a brief look at some statistics of our remaining 7 + Messi. All our players have now reached 1000 appearances, with Bargfrede in last at 1173. Messi has crossed 1000 league goals, now a full 300 clear of the chasing pack of Abreu and Kane. On the international level, Thomas Müller becomes the first player to need a rollover of caps twice, moving on to a massive 524 international caps. But it’s Kane who still leads the international goal stat, nearly breaking 350, a full 50 ahead of the German.
Müller does, however, grab a World Cup win for Germany so I’m sure he won’t be too upset. At least until they’re deposed by Holland 4 years later. On the continental level, Bristol City win another Europa League title beating previous champions Espanyol. Middlesbrough also nearly earn a trophy, having joined Bristol as a top 6 team. But the winner of the biggest shock, although I did say this might happen, goes to Chamois Niortais, who topple the dominance of PSG and Monaco to capture a miraculous Ligue 1 title in the last season of the period.
Loyal Players Remaining: 7
Abreu Club Count: 32 clubs in 12 countries
Odd Winners: Chamois Niortais (Ligue 1), Bristol City/Espanyol (Europa League)

2055-60

The summer window of 2055 opens and as I warned may happen, there’s an almost immediate transfer. Fed up with Chelsea’s mediocre finishes, John Terry decides to move on. Unfortunately for Chelsea fans, Arsenal is his next club, which I’m sure will cause a few shudders. A year later and another move comes around, once again due to unhappiness over the club’s performance. Surprisingly it's Thomas Müller,who's annoyed by the fact that Bayern haven’t won a Bundesliga title since 2048, and so runs down his contract. Leverkusen almost earn his signature, but eventually its the glory of PSG that proves too much to resist. But we’re not done there! Another player runs down their contract, opting to move to Vitoria de Setubal in Portugal. Vincent Manceau finally makes a real move rather than constantly faking me out. So with another 3 players down, we’re left with our final 4. The race for the top 3 is hotting up now!
We do have a retirement this time thanks to the transfer window livening up. The world's best-ever player, Lionel Messi, retires from football. He ends up on a total of 1858 league appearances, scoring a massive 1068 goals in this time. 1430 appearances and 895 goals of those belonging to his 45-year career at Barcelona. On the international scene, he earned an impressive 505 caps and 276 goals. But it’s the awards where he shines. 279 individual awards, 82 team titles, 22 league titles, 6 Champions League titles, 45 Ballon d’Or awards. What makes it even crazier is 41 of those Ballon d’Or awards were in a row, as he earned every single one from 2015 to 2056. I don’t think I’ll see another player like that crop up in any save, truly the world’s best player.
Looking out on the world, I can say that it’s a Chamois Niortais player that breaks Messi’s streak, as the French team claim another two Ligue 1 titles. It’s hard to say they’re a “surprise winner” at this point. Bristol City finally make the full step up to join the big guns, winning 3 Carabao Cups, 1 FA Cup, 2 Premier League titles and even a Champions League trophy. If any Bristol City fans want this save to give themselves hope over the future, I can send it over. Internationally it's the era of Portugal, as they claim both the Euro and World Cup trophies.
Loyal Players Remaining: 4
Abreu Club Count: 32 clubs in 12 countries
Odd Winners: Bristol City (Premier League/Champions League), Lyon (Relegation)

With so few players left, now is probably a good time to speed it up once again. The final four will be tough to budge, so how about we move to 10-year intervals to try and cut down on dead years. And I'll be moving to the comments, because I've hit reddits character limit.

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a abandon ability able abortion about above abroad absence absolute absolutely absorb abuse academic accept access accident accompany accomplish according account accurate accuse achieve achievement acid acknowledge acquire across act action active activist activity actor actress actual actually ad adapt add addition additional address adequate adjust adjustment administration administrator admire admission admit adolescent adopt adult advance advanced advantage adventure advertising advice advise adviser advocate affair affect afford afraid African African-American after afternoon again against age agency agenda agent aggressive ago agree agreement agricultural ah ahead aid aide AIDS aim air aircraft airline airport album alcohol alive all alliance allow ally almost alone along already also alter alternative although always AM amazing American among amount analysis analyst analyze ancient and anger angle angry animal anniversary announce annual another answer anticipate anxiety any anybody anymore anyone anything anyway anywhere apart apartment apparent apparently appeal appear appearance apple application apply appoint appointment appreciate approach appropriate approval approve approximately Arab architect area argue argument arise arm armed army around arrange arrangement arrest arrival arrive art article artist artistic as Asian aside ask asleep aspect assault assert assess assessment asset assign assignment assist assistance assistant associate association assume assumption assure at athlete athletic atmosphere attach attack attempt attend attention attitude attorney attract attractive attribute audience author authority auto available average avoid award aware awareness away awful baby back background bad badly bag bake balance ball ban band bank bar barely barrel barrier base baseball basic basically basis basket basketball bathroom battery battle be beach bean bear beat beautiful beauty because become bed bedroom beer before begin beginning behavior behind being belief believe bell belong below belt bench bend beneath benefit beside besides best bet better between beyond Bible big bike bill billion bind biological bird birth birthday bit bite black blade blame blanket blind block blood blow blue board boat body bomb bombing bond bone book boom boot border born borrow boss both bother bottle bottom boundary bowl box boy boyfriend brain branch brand bread break breakfast breast breath breathe brick bridge brief briefly bright brilliant bring British broad broken brother brown brush buck budget build building bullet bunch burden burn bury bus business busy but butter button buy buyer by cabin cabinet cable cake calculate call camera camp campaign campus can Canadian cancer candidate cap capability capable capacity capital captain capture car carbon card care career careful carefully carrier carry case cash cast cat catch category Catholic cause ceiling celebrate celebration celebrity cell center central century CEO ceremony certain certainly chain chair chairman challenge chamber champion championship chance change changing channel chapter character characteristic characterize charge charity chart chase cheap check cheek cheese chef chemical chest chicken chief child childhood Chinese chip chocolate choice cholesterol choose Christian Christmas church cigarette circle circumstance cite citizen city civil civilian claim class classic classroom clean clear clearly client climate climb clinic clinical clock close closely closer clothes clothing cloud club clue cluster coach coal coalition coast coat code coffee cognitive cold collapse colleague collect collection collective college colonial color column combination combine come comedy comfort comfortable command commander comment commercial commission commit commitment committee common communicate communication community company compare comparison compete competition competitive competitor complain complaint complete completely complex complicated component compose composition comprehensive computer concentrate concentration concept concern concerned concert conclude conclusion concrete condition conduct conference confidence confident confirm conflict confront confusion Congress congressional connect connection consciousness consensus consequence conservative consider considerable consideration consist consistent constant constantly constitute constitutional construct construction consultant consume consumer consumption contact contain container contemporary content contest context continue continued contract contrast contribute contribution control controversial controversy convention conventional conversation convert conviction convince cook cookie cooking cool cooperation cop cope copy core corn corner corporate corporation correct correspondent cost cotton couch could council counselor count counter country county couple courage course court cousin cover coverage cow crack craft crash crazy cream create creation creative creature credit crew crime criminal crisis criteria critic critical criticism criticize crop cross crowd crucial cry cultural culture cup curious current currently curriculum custom customer cut cycle dad daily damage dance danger dangerous dare dark darkness data date daughter day dead deal dealer dear death debate debt decade decide decision deck declare decline decrease deep deeply deer defeat defend defendant defense defensive deficit define definitely definition degree delay deliver delivery demand democracy Democrat democratic demonstrate demonstration deny department depend dependent depending depict depression depth deputy derive describe description desert deserve design designer desire desk desperate despite destroy destruction detail detailed detect determine develop developing development device devote dialogue die diet differ difference different differently difficult difficulty dig digital dimension dining dinner direct direction directly director dirt dirty disability disagree disappear disaster discipline discourse discover discovery discrimination discuss discussion disease dish dismiss disorder display dispute distance distant distinct distinction distinguish distribute distribution district diverse diversity divide division divorce DNA do doctor document dog domestic dominant dominate door double doubt down downtown dozen draft drag drama dramatic dramatically draw drawing dream dress drink drive driver drop drug dry due during dust duty each eager ear early earn earnings earth ease easily east eastern easy eat economic economics economist economy edge edition editor educate education educational educator effect effective effectively efficiency efficient effort egg eight either elderly elect election electric electricity electronic element elementary eliminate elite else elsewhere e-mail embrace emerge emergency emission emotion emotional emphasis emphasize employ employee employer employment empty enable encounter encourage end enemy energy enforcement engage engine engineer engineering English enhance enjoy enormous enough ensure enter enterprise entertainment entire entirely entrance entry environment environmental episode equal equally equipment era error escape especially essay essential essentially establish establishment estate estimate etc ethics ethnic European evaluate evaluation even evening event eventually ever every everybody everyday everyone everything everywhere evidence evolution evolve exact exactly examination examine example exceed excellent except exception exchange exciting executive exercise exhibit exhibition exist existence existing expand expansion expect expectation expense expensive experience experiment expert explain explanation explode explore explosion expose exposure express expression extend extension extensive extent external extra extraordinary extreme extremely eye fabric face facility fact factor factory faculty fade fail failure fair fairly faith fall false familiar family famous fan fantasy far farm farmer fashion fast fat fate father fault favor favorite fear feature federal fee feed feel feeling fellow female fence few fewer fiber fiction field fifteen fifth fifty fight fighter fighting figure file fill film final finally finance financial find finding fine finger finish fire firm first fish fishing fit fitness five fix flag flame flat flavor flee flesh flight float floor flow flower fly focus folk follow following food foot football for force foreign forest forever forget form formal formation former formula forth fortune forward found foundation founder four fourth frame framework free freedom freeze French frequency frequent frequently fresh friend friendly friendship from front fruit frustration fuel full fully fun function fund fundamental funding funeral funny furniture furthermore future gain galaxy gallery game gang gap garage garden garlic gas gate gather gay gaze gear gender gene general generally generate generation genetic gentleman gently German gesture get ghost giant gift gifted girl girlfriend give given glad glance glass global glove go goal God gold golden golf good government governor grab grade gradually graduate grain grand grandfather grandmother grant grass grave gray great greatest green grocery ground group grow growing growth guarantee guard guess guest guide guideline guilty gun guy habit habitat hair half hall hand handful handle hang happen happy hard hardly hat hate have he head headline headquarters health healthy hear hearing heart heat heaven heavily heavy heel height helicopter hell hello help helpful her here heritage hero herself hey hi hide high highlight highly highway hill him himself hip hire his historian historic historical history hit hold hole holiday holy home homeless honest honey honor hope horizon horror horse hospital host hot hotel hour house household housing how however huge human humor hundred hungry hunter hunting hurt husband hypothesis I ice idea ideal identification identify identity ie if ignore ill illegal illness illustrate image imagination imagine immediate immediately immigrant immigration impact implement implication imply importance important impose impossible impress impression impressive improve improvement in incentive incident include including income incorporate increase increased increasing increasingly incredible indeed independence independent index Indian indicate indication individual industrial industry infant infection inflation influence inform information ingredient initial initially initiative injury inner innocent inquiry inside insight insist inspire install instance instead institution institutional instruction instructor instrument insurance intellectual intelligence intend intense intensity intention interaction interest interested interesting internal international Internet interpret interpretation intervention interview into introduce introduction invasion invest investigate investigation investigator investment investor invite involve involved involvement Iraqi Irish iron Islamic island Israeli issue it Italian item its itself jacket jail Japanese jet Jew Jewish job join joint joke journal journalist journey joy judge judgment juice jump junior jury just justice justify keep key kick kid kill killer killing kind king kiss kitchen knee knife knock know knowledge lab label labor laboratory lack lady lake land landscape language lap large largely last late later Latin latter laugh launch law lawn lawsuit lawyer lay layer lead leader leadership leading leaf league lean learn learning least leather leave left leg legacy legal legend legislation legitimate lemon length less lesson let letter level liberal library license lie life lifestyle lifetime lift light like likely limit limitation limited line link lip list listen literally literary literature little live living load loan local locate location lock long long-term look loose lose loss lost lot lots loud love lovely lover low lower luck lucky lunch lung machine mad magazine mail main mainly maintain maintenance major majority make maker makeup male mall man manage management manager manner manufacturer manufacturing many map margin mark market marketing marriage married marry mask mass massive master match material math matter may maybe mayor me meal mean meaning meanwhile measure measurement meat mechanism media medical medication medicine medium meet meeting member membership memory mental mention menu mere merely mess message metal meter method Mexican middle might military milk million mind mine minister minor minority minute miracle mirror miss missile mission mistake mix mixture mm-hmm mode model moderate modern modest mom moment money monitor month mood moon moral more moreover morning mortgage most mostly mother motion motivation motor mount mountain mouse mouth move movement movie Mr Mrs Ms much multiple murder muscle museum music musical musician Muslim must mutual my myself mystery myth naked name narrative narrow nation national native natural naturally nature near nearby nearly necessarily necessary neck need negative negotiate negotiation neighbor neighborhood neither nerve nervous net network never nevertheless new newly news newspaper next nice night nine no nobody nod noise nomination none nonetheless nor normal normally north northern nose not note nothing notice notion novel now nowhere n't nuclear number numerous nurse nut object objective obligation observation observe observer obtain obvious obviously occasion occasionally occupation occupy occur ocean odd odds of off offense offensive offer office officer official often oh oil ok okay old Olympic on once one ongoing onion online only onto open opening operate operating operation operator opinion opponent opportunity oppose opposite opposition option or orange order ordinary organic organization organize orientation origin original originally other others otherwise ought our ourselves out outcome outside oven over overall overcome overlook owe own owner pace pack package page pain painful paint painter painting pair pale Palestinian palm pan panel pant paper parent park parking part participant participate participation particular particularly partly partner partnership party pass passage passenger passion past patch path patient pattern pause pay payment PC peace peak peer penalty people pepper per perceive percentage perception perfect perfectly perform performance perhaps period permanent permission permit person personal personality personally personnel perspective persuade pet phase phenomenon philosophy phone photo photograph photographer phrase physical physically physician piano pick picture pie piece pile pilot pine pink pipe pitch place plan plane planet planning plant plastic plate platform play player please pleasure plenty plot plus PM pocket poem poet poetry point pole police policy political politically politician politics poll pollution pool poor pop popular population porch port portion portrait portray pose position positive possess possibility possible possibly post pot potato potential potentially pound pour poverty powder power powerful practical practice pray prayer precisely predict prefer preference pregnancy pregnant preparation prepare prescription presence present presentation preserve president presidential press pressure pretend pretty prevent previous previously price pride priest primarily primary prime principal principle print prior priority prison prisoner privacy private probably problem procedure proceed process produce producer product production profession professional professor profile profit program progress project prominent promise promote prompt proof proper properly property proportion proposal propose proposed prosecutor prospect protect protection protein protest proud prove provide provider province provision psychological psychologist psychology public publication publicly publish publisher pull punishment purchase pure purpose pursue push put qualify quality quarter quarterback question quick quickly quiet quietly quit quite quote race racial radical radio rail rain raise range rank rapid rapidly rare rarely rate rather rating ratio raw reach react reaction read reader reading ready real reality realize really reason reasonable recall receive recent recently recipe recognition recognize recommend recommendation record recording recover recovery recruit red reduce reduction refer reference reflect reflection reform refugee refuse regard regarding regardless regime region regional register regular regularly regulate regulation reinforce reject relate relation relationship relative relatively relax release relevant relief religion religious rely remain remaining remarkable remember remind remote remove repeat repeatedly replace reply report reporter represent representation representative Republican reputation request require requirement research researcher resemble reservation resident resist resistance resolution resolve resort resource respect respond respondent response responsibility responsible rest restaurant restore restriction result retain retire retirement return reveal revenue review revolution rhythm rice rich rid ride rifle right ring rise risk river road rock role roll romantic roof room root rope rose rough roughly round route routine row rub rule run running rural rush Russian sacred sad safe safety sake salad salary sale sales salt same sample sanction sand satellite satisfaction satisfy sauce save saving say scale scandal scared scenario scene schedule scheme scholar scholarship school science scientific scientist scope score scream screen script sea search season seat second secret secretary section sector secure security see seed seek seem segment seize select selection self sell Senate senator send senior sense sensitive sentence separate sequence series serious seriously serve service session set setting settle settlement seven several severe sex sexual shade shadow shake shall shape share sharp she sheet shelf shell shelter shift shine ship shirt shit shock shoe shoot shooting shop shopping shore short shortly shot should shoulder shout show shower shrug shut sick side sigh sight sign signal significance significant significantly silence silent silver similar similarly simple simply sin since sing singer single sink sir sister sit site situation six size ski skill skin sky slave sleep slice slide slight slightly slip slow slowly small smart smell smile smoke smooth snap snow so so-called soccer social society soft software soil solar soldier solid solution solve some somebody somehow someone something sometimes somewhat somewhere son song soon sophisticated sorry sort soul sound soup source south southern Soviet space Spanish speak speaker special specialist species specific specifically speech speed spend spending spin spirit spiritual split spokesman sport spot spread spring square squeeze stability stable staff stage stair stake stand standard standing star stare start state statement station statistics status stay steady steal steel step stick still stir stock stomach stone stop storage store storm story straight strange stranger strategic strategy stream street strength strengthen stress stretch strike string strip stroke strong strongly structure struggle student studio study stuff stupid style subject submit subsequent substance substantial succeed success successful successfully such sudden suddenly sue suffer sufficient sugar suggest suggestion suicide suit summer summit sun super supply support supporter suppose supposed Supreme sure surely surface surgery surprise surprised surprising surprisingly surround survey survival survive survivor suspect sustain swear sweep sweet swim swing switch symbol symptom system table tablespoon tactic tail take tale talent talk tall tank tap tape target task taste tax taxpayer tea teach teacher teaching team tear teaspoon technical technique technology teen teenager telephone telescope television tell temperature temporary ten tend tendency tennis tension tent term terms terrible territory terror terrorism terrorist test testify testimony testing text than thank thanks that the theater their them theme themselves then theory therapy there therefore these they thick thin thing think thinking third thirty this those though thought thousand threat threaten three throat through throughout throw thus ticket tie tight time tiny tip tire tired tissue title to tobacco today toe together tomato tomorrow tone tongue tonight too tool tooth top topic toss total totally touch tough tour tourist tournament toward towards tower town toy trace track trade tradition traditional traffic tragedy trail train training transfer transform transformation transition translate transportation travel treat treatment treaty tree tremendous trend trial tribe trick trip troop trouble truck true truly trust truth try tube tunnel turn TV twelve twenty twice twin two type typical typically ugly ultimate ultimately unable uncle under undergo understand understanding unfortunately uniform union unique unit United universal universe university unknown unless unlike unlikely until unusual up upon upper urban urge us use used useful user usual usually utility vacation valley valuable value variable variation variety various vary vast vegetable vehicle venture version versus very vessel veteran via victim victory video view viewer village violate violation violence violent virtually virtue virus visible vision visit visitor visual vital voice volume volunteer vote voter vs vulnerable wage wait wake walk wall wander want war warm warn warning wash waste watch water wave way we weak wealth wealthy weapon wear weather wedding week weekend weekly weigh weight welcome welfare well west western wet what whatever wheel when whenever where whereas whether which while whisper white who whole whom whose why wide widely widespread wife wild will willing win wind window wine wing winner winter wipe wire wisdom wise wish with withdraw within without witness woman wonder wonderful wood wooden word work worker working works workshop world worried worry worth would wound wrap write writer writing wrong yard yeah year yell yellow yes yesterday yet yield you young your yours yourself youth zone

I am about to post the 3000 most common words in the English lexicon. Wish me luck...
a abandon ability able abortion about above abroad absence absolute absolutely absorb abuse academic accept access accident accompany accomplish according account accurate accuse achieve achievement acid acknowledge acquire across act action active activist activity actor actress actual actually ad adapt add addition additional address adequate adjust adjustment administration administrator admire admission admit adolescent adopt adult advance advanced advantage adventure advertising advice advise adviser advocate affair affect afford afraid African African-American after afternoon again against age agency agenda agent aggressive ago agree agreement agricultural ah ahead aid aide AIDS aim air aircraft airline airport album alcohol alive all alliance allow ally almost alone along already also alter alternative although always AM amazing American among amount analysis analyst analyze ancient and anger angle angry animal anniversary announce annual another answer anticipate anxiety any anybody anymore anyone anything anyway anywhere apart apartment apparent apparently appeal appear appearance apple application apply appoint appointment appreciate approach appropriate approval approve approximately Arab architect area argue argument arise arm armed army around arrange arrangement arrest arrival arrive art article artist artistic as Asian aside ask asleep aspect assault assert assess assessment asset assign assignment assist assistance assistant associate association assume assumption assure at athlete athletic atmosphere attach attack attempt attend attention attitude attorney attract attractive attribute audience author authority auto available average avoid award aware awareness away awful baby back background bad badly bag bake balance ball ban band bank bar barely barrel barrier base baseball basic basically basis basket basketball bathroom battery battle be beach bean bear beat beautiful beauty because become bed bedroom beer before begin beginning behavior behind being belief believe bell belong below belt bench bend beneath benefit beside besides best bet better between beyond Bible big bike bill billion bind biological bird birth birthday bit bite black blade blame blanket blind block blood blow blue board boat body bomb bombing bond bone book boom boot border born borrow boss both bother bottle bottom boundary bowl box boy boyfriend brain branch brand bread break breakfast breast breath breathe brick bridge brief briefly bright brilliant bring British broad broken brother brown brush buck budget build building bullet bunch burden burn bury bus business busy but butter button buy buyer by cabin cabinet cable cake calculate call camera camp campaign campus can Canadian cancer candidate cap capability capable capacity capital captain capture car carbon card care career careful carefully carrier carry case cash cast cat catch category Catholic cause ceiling celebrate celebration celebrity cell center central century CEO ceremony certain certainly chain chair chairman challenge chamber champion championship chance change changing channel chapter character characteristic characterize charge charity chart chase cheap check cheek cheese chef chemical chest chicken chief child childhood Chinese chip chocolate choice cholesterol choose Christian Christmas church cigarette circle circumstance cite citizen city civil civilian claim class classic classroom clean clear clearly client climate climb clinic clinical clock close closely closer clothes clothing cloud club clue cluster coach coal coalition coast coat code coffee cognitive cold collapse colleague collect collection collective college colonial color column combination combine come comedy comfort comfortable command commander comment commercial commission commit commitment committee common communicate communication community company compare comparison compete competition competitive competitor complain complaint complete completely complex complicated component compose composition comprehensive computer concentrate concentration concept concern concerned concert conclude conclusion concrete condition conduct conference confidence confident confirm conflict confront confusion Congress congressional connect connection consciousness consensus consequence conservative consider considerable consideration consist consistent constant constantly constitute constitutional construct construction consultant consume consumer consumption contact contain container contemporary content contest context continue continued contract contrast contribute contribution control controversial controversy convention conventional conversation convert conviction convince cook cookie cooking cool cooperation cop cope copy core corn corner corporate corporation correct correspondent cost cotton couch could council counselor count counter country county couple courage course court cousin cover coverage cow crack craft crash crazy cream create creation creative creature credit crew crime criminal crisis criteria critic critical criticism criticize crop cross crowd crucial cry cultural culture cup curious current currently curriculum custom customer cut cycle dad daily damage dance danger dangerous dare dark darkness data date daughter day dead deal dealer dear death debate debt decade decide decision deck declare decline decrease deep deeply deer defeat defend defendant defense defensive deficit define definitely definition degree delay deliver delivery demand democracy Democrat democratic demonstrate demonstration deny department depend dependent depending depict depression depth deputy derive describe description desert deserve design designer desire desk desperate despite destroy destruction detail detailed detect determine develop developing development device devote dialogue die diet differ difference different differently difficult difficulty dig digital dimension dining dinner direct direction directly director dirt dirty disability disagree disappear disaster discipline discourse discover discovery discrimination discuss discussion disease dish dismiss disorder display dispute distance distant distinct distinction distinguish distribute distribution district diverse diversity divide division divorce DNA do doctor document dog domestic dominant dominate door double doubt down downtown dozen draft drag drama dramatic dramatically draw drawing dream dress drink drive driver drop drug dry due during dust duty each eager ear early earn earnings earth ease easily east eastern easy eat economic economics economist economy edge edition editor educate education educational educator effect effective effectively efficiency efficient effort egg eight either elderly elect election electric electricity electronic element elementary eliminate elite else elsewhere e-mail embrace emerge emergency emission emotion emotional emphasis emphasize employ employee employer employment empty enable encounter encourage end enemy energy enforcement engage engine engineer engineering English enhance enjoy enormous enough ensure enter enterprise entertainment entire entirely entrance entry environment environmental episode equal equally equipment era error escape especially essay essential essentially establish establishment estate estimate etc ethics ethnic European evaluate evaluation even evening event eventually ever every everybody everyday everyone everything everywhere evidence evolution evolve exact exactly examination examine example exceed excellent except exception exchange exciting executive exercise exhibit exhibition exist existence existing expand expansion expect expectation expense expensive experience experiment expert explain explanation explode explore explosion expose exposure express expression extend extension extensive extent external extra extraordinary extreme extremely eye fabric face facility fact factor factory faculty fade fail failure fair fairly faith fall false familiar family famous fan fantasy far farm farmer fashion fast fat fate father fault favor favorite fear feature federal fee feed feel feeling fellow female fence few fewer fiber fiction field fifteen fifth fifty fight fighter fighting figure file fill film final finally finance financial find finding fine finger finish fire firm first fish fishing fit fitness five fix flag flame flat flavor flee flesh flight float floor flow flower fly focus folk follow following food foot football for force foreign forest forever forget form formal formation former formula forth fortune forward found foundation founder four fourth frame framework free freedom freeze French frequency frequent frequently fresh friend friendly friendship from front fruit frustration fuel full fully fun function fund fundamental funding funeral funny furniture furthermore future gain galaxy gallery game gang gap garage garden garlic gas gate gather gay gaze gear gender gene general generally generate generation genetic gentleman gently German gesture get ghost giant gift gifted girl girlfriend give given glad glance glass global glove go goal God gold golden golf good government governor grab grade gradually graduate grain grand grandfather grandmother grant grass grave gray great greatest green grocery ground group grow growing growth guarantee guard guess guest guide guideline guilty gun guy habit habitat hair half hall hand handful handle hang happen happy hard hardly hat hate have he head headline headquarters health healthy hear hearing heart heat heaven heavily heavy heel height helicopter hell hello help helpful her here heritage hero herself hey hi hide high highlight highly highway hill him himself hip hire his historian historic historical history hit hold hole holiday holy home homeless honest honey honor hope horizon horror horse hospital host hot hotel hour house household housing how however huge human humor hundred hungry hunter hunting hurt husband hypothesis I ice idea ideal identification identify identity ie if ignore ill illegal illness illustrate image imagination imagine immediate immediately immigrant immigration impact implement implication imply importance important impose impossible impress impression impressive improve improvement in incentive incident include including income incorporate increase increased increasing increasingly incredible indeed independence independent index Indian indicate indication individual industrial industry infant infection inflation influence inform information ingredient initial initially initiative injury inner innocent inquiry inside insight insist inspire install instance instead institution institutional instruction instructor instrument insurance intellectual intelligence intend intense intensity intention interaction interest interested interesting internal international Internet interpret interpretation intervention interview into introduce introduction invasion invest investigate investigation investigator investment investor invite involve involved involvement Iraqi Irish iron Islamic island Israeli issue it Italian item its itself jacket jail Japanese jet Jew Jewish job join joint joke journal journalist journey joy judge judgment juice jump junior jury just justice justify keep key kick kid kill killer killing kind king kiss kitchen knee knife knock know knowledge lab label labor laboratory lack lady lake land landscape language lap large largely last late later Latin latter laugh launch law lawn lawsuit lawyer lay layer lead leader leadership leading leaf league lean learn learning least leather leave left leg legacy legal legend legislation legitimate lemon length less lesson let letter level liberal library license lie life lifestyle lifetime lift light like likely limit limitation limited line link lip list listen literally literary literature little live living load loan local locate location lock long long-term look loose lose loss lost lot lots loud love lovely lover low lower luck lucky lunch lung machine mad magazine mail main mainly maintain maintenance major majority make maker makeup male mall man manage management manager manner manufacturer manufacturing many map margin mark market marketing marriage married marry mask mass massive master match material math matter may maybe mayor me meal mean meaning meanwhile measure measurement meat mechanism media medical medication medicine medium meet meeting member membership memory mental mention menu mere merely mess message metal meter method Mexican middle might military milk million mind mine minister minor minority minute miracle mirror miss missile mission mistake mix mixture mm-hmm mode model moderate modern modest mom moment money monitor month mood moon moral more moreover morning mortgage most mostly mother motion motivation motor mount mountain mouse mouth move movement movie Mr Mrs Ms much multiple murder muscle museum music musical musician Muslim must mutual my myself mystery myth naked name narrative narrow nation national native natural naturally nature near nearby nearly necessarily necessary neck need negative negotiate negotiation neighbor neighborhood neither nerve nervous net network never nevertheless new newly news newspaper next nice night nine no nobody nod noise nomination none nonetheless nor normal normally north northern nose not note nothing notice notion novel now nowhere n't nuclear number numerous nurse nut object objective obligation observation observe observer obtain obvious obviously occasion occasionally occupation occupy occur ocean odd odds of off offense offensive offer office officer official often oh oil ok okay old Olympic on once one ongoing onion online only onto open opening operate operating operation operator opinion opponent opportunity oppose opposite opposition option or orange order ordinary organic organization organize orientation origin original originally other others otherwise ought our ourselves out outcome outside oven over overall overcome overlook owe own owner pace pack package page pain painful paint painter painting pair pale Palestinian palm pan panel pant paper parent park parking part participant participate participation particular particularly partly partner partnership party pass passage passenger passion past patch path patient pattern pause pay payment PC peace peak peer penalty people pepper per perceive percentage perception perfect perfectly perform performance perhaps period permanent permission permit person personal personality personally personnel perspective persuade pet phase phenomenon philosophy phone photo photograph photographer phrase physical physically physician piano pick picture pie piece pile pilot pine pink pipe pitch place plan plane planet planning plant plastic plate platform play player please pleasure plenty plot plus PM pocket poem poet poetry point pole police policy political politically politician politics poll pollution pool poor pop popular population porch port portion portrait portray pose position positive possess possibility possible possibly post pot potato potential potentially pound pour poverty powder power powerful practical practice pray prayer precisely predict prefer preference pregnancy pregnant preparation prepare prescription presence present presentation preserve president presidential press pressure pretend pretty prevent previous previously price pride priest primarily primary prime principal principle print prior priority prison prisoner privacy private probably problem procedure proceed process produce producer product production profession professional professor profile profit program progress project prominent promise promote prompt proof proper properly property proportion proposal propose proposed prosecutor prospect protect protection protein protest proud prove provide provider province provision psychological psychologist psychology public publication publicly publish publisher pull punishment purchase pure purpose pursue push put qualify quality quarter quarterback question quick quickly quiet quietly quit quite quote race racial radical radio rail rain raise range rank rapid rapidly rare rarely rate rather rating ratio raw reach react reaction read reader reading ready real reality realize really reason reasonable recall receive recent recently recipe recognition recognize recommend recommendation record recording recover recovery recruit red reduce reduction refer reference reflect reflection reform refugee refuse regard regarding regardless regime region regional register regular regularly regulate regulation reinforce reject relate relation relationship relative relatively relax release relevant relief religion religious rely remain remaining remarkable remember remind remote remove repeat repeatedly replace reply report reporter represent representation representative Republican reputation request require requirement research researcher resemble reservation resident resist resistance resolution resolve resort resource respect respond respondent response responsibility responsible rest restaurant restore restriction result retain retire retirement return reveal revenue review revolution rhythm rice rich rid ride rifle right ring rise risk river road rock role roll romantic roof room root rope rose rough roughly round route routine row rub rule run running rural rush Russian sacred sad safe safety sake salad salary sale sales salt same sample sanction sand satellite satisfaction satisfy sauce save saving say scale scandal scared scenario scene schedule scheme scholar scholarship school science scientific scientist scope score scream screen script sea search season seat second secret secretary section sector secure security see seed seek seem segment seize select selection self sell Senate senator send senior sense sensitive sentence separate sequence series serious seriously serve service session set setting settle settlement seven several severe sex sexual shade shadow shake shall shape share sharp she sheet shelf shell shelter shift shine ship shirt shit shock shoe shoot shooting shop shopping shore short shortly shot should shoulder shout show shower shrug shut sick side sigh sight sign signal significance significant significantly silence silent silver similar similarly simple simply sin since sing singer single sink sir sister sit site situation six size ski skill skin sky slave sleep slice slide slight slightly slip slow slowly small smart smell smile smoke smooth snap snow so so-called soccer social society soft software soil solar soldier solid solution solve some somebody somehow someone something sometimes somewhat somewhere son song soon sophisticated sorry sort soul sound soup source south southern Soviet space Spanish speak speaker special specialist species specific specifically speech speed spend spending spin spirit spiritual split spokesman sport spot spread spring square squeeze stability stable staff stage stair stake stand standard standing star stare start state statement station statistics status stay steady steal steel step stick still stir stock stomach stone stop storage store storm story straight strange stranger strategic strategy stream street strength strengthen stress stretch strike string strip stroke strong strongly structure struggle student studio study stuff stupid style subject submit subsequent substance substantial succeed success successful successfully such sudden suddenly sue suffer sufficient sugar suggest suggestion suicide suit summer summit sun super supply support supporter suppose supposed Supreme sure surely surface surgery surprise surprised surprising surprisingly surround survey survival survive survivor suspect sustain swear sweep sweet swim swing switch symbol symptom system table tablespoon tactic tail take tale talent talk tall tank tap tape target task taste tax taxpayer tea teach teacher teaching team tear teaspoon technical technique technology teen teenager telephone telescope television tell temperature temporary ten tend tendency tennis tension tent term terms terrible territory terror terrorism terrorist test testify testimony testing text than thank thanks that the theater their them theme themselves then theory therapy there therefore these they thick thin thing think thinking third thirty this those though thought thousand threat threaten three throat through throughout throw thus ticket tie tight time tiny tip tire tired tissue title to tobacco today toe together tomato tomorrow tone tongue tonight too tool tooth top topic toss total totally touch tough tour tourist tournament toward towards tower town toy trace track trade tradition traditional traffic tragedy trail train training transfer transform transformation transition translate transportation travel treat treatment treaty tree tremendous trend trial tribe trick trip troop trouble truck true truly trust truth try tube tunnel turn TV twelve twenty twice twin two type typical typically ugly ultimate ultimately unable uncle under undergo understand understanding unfortunately uniform union unique unit United universal universe university unknown unless unlike unlikely until unusual up upon upper urban urge us use used useful user usual usually utility vacation valley valuable value variable variation variety various vary vast vegetable vehicle venture version versus very vessel veteran via victim victory video view viewer village violate violation violence violent virtually virtue virus visible vision visit visitor visual vital voice volume volunteer vote voter vs vulnerable wage wait wake walk wall wander want war warm warn warning wash waste watch water wave way we weak wealth wealthy weapon wear weather wedding week weekend weekly weigh weight welcome welfare well west western wet what whatever wheel when whenever where whereas whether which while whisper white who whole whom whose why wide widely widespread wife wild will willing win wind window wine wing winner winter wipe wire wisdom wise wish with withdraw within without witness woman wonder wonderful wood wooden word work worker working works workshop world worried worry worth would wound wrap write writer writing wrong yard yeah year yell yellow yes yesterday yet yield you young your yours yourself youth zone